HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she told me i tasted like america
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize