She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
