she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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