just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
