my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
