I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize