these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm both gender and math confused
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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