man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
