"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
