they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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