Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
