So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize