Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
