So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
