Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
