I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
