I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
