Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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