I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
