i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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