FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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