so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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