Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize