Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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