A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
