She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
