margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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