I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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