i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
