Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
