I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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