I look better un-naked...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
