doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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