Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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