i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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