There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
