her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
