and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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