worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
