You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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