i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
there is puke in my bra ... again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
