Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
