My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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