god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize