carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
