well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
