yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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