No subtext here. People are naked.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
