if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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