sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
kristin has been a bad kristin
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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