Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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