And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
