Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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